Reverse Mortgage and a Nursing Home Move: Can a Spouse Stay?

Your spouse may be able to stay home when you have a reverse mortgage and move into a nursing home, but their loan status determines the protection. A spouse who is a co-borrower can generally remain and continue receiving available loan payments. An eligible non-borrowing spouse may qualify to postpone repayment after a healthcare-facility absence exceeding 12 consecutive months, but cannot receive further household advances during that deferral. CFPB explains the distinction in its moving-out guidance and spouse-eligibility guidance.

These rules concern FHA-insured Home Equity Conversion Mortgages, or HECMs. Other reverse mortgages have their own contract terms.

A co-borrower keeps rights that a non-borrowing spouse does not

If your spouse is also a borrower and continues using the home as their principal residence, your move does not by itself make the HECM repayable. They can continue receiving disbursements under the loan’s payment plan and available funds, provided the ongoing requirements are met. CFPB’s moving-out guidance applies this protection when a borrower moves for any reason.

For a non-borrowing spouse, the servicer must determine whether HUD’s conditions allow it to defer calling the loan due and payable—requiring repayment. A deferral does not make the spouse a borrower. Start by asking the servicer to confirm each person’s recorded status in writing.

The 12-month rule depends on where the borrower goes

A HECM healthcare-facility absence can include a stay in a hospital, rehabilitation center, nursing home or assisted-living facility. When the absence exceeds 12 consecutive months and no co-borrower remains, repayment can become due unless a qualifying spouse deferral applies.

Moving to live with relatives does not automatically qualify for that exception, even when relatives provide care. CFPB distinguishes healthcare-facility stays from nonmedical absences exceeding six months when no co-borrower remains. Do not treat 12 months as a general allowance for living elsewhere; ask the servicer to assess the actual arrangement. CFPB’s occupancy guidance explains these circumstances.

HUD extended non-borrowing-spouse protections to qualifying healthcare-facility absences in Mortgagee Letter 2021-11, issued May 6, 2021. The protection can therefore apply while the borrower is alive, although many explanations appear under headings about death.

For a non-borrowing spouse, find the FHA case-number date

The dividing line is when FHA assigned the case number, rather than simply the closing date. Ask the servicer to supply that date.

Cases assigned on or after August 4, 2014

An eligible non-borrowing spouse may receive the healthcare-absence deferral if the qualifying conditions continue. Generally, the spouse must:

• Have been married to the borrower at closing and remain married during the healthcare absence.
• Have been disclosed and identified as a non-borrowing spouse in the loan documents.
• Have occupied the home at closing and continued using it as their principal residence.
• Keep the loan’s other requirements satisfied.

The servicer determines eligibility; a marriage certificate alone does not establish all these conditions. See CFPB’s spouse-eligibility guidance.

Cases assigned before August 4, 2014

For these older loans, the servicer can elect the Mortgagee Optional Election assignment, or MOE, which allows an eligible loan to be assigned to HUD for administration of the deferral. This is an optional servicing pathway, not an automatic entitlement.

The spouse must satisfy marriage and continuous principal-residence requirements, provide identifying information and accept continuing obligations without further HECM disbursements. The newer-loan requirement to identify the spouse in the original loan documents should not be substituted for the older-loan MOE review. HUD’s handbook and CFPB’s explanation of older loans distinguish the pathways.

Marriage exceptions and outdated title requirements

HUD provides a narrow marriage-history exception for certain same-sex couples legally barred from marrying when the loan originated. If relevant, request review under that exception rather than assuming a later marriage disqualifies the spouse. The 2021 amendments address this situation.

Older advice may still demand marketable title or a lifetime right to occupy. HUD removed that condition for spouse deferral; its 2021 amendments extended removal to all HECMs. Deferral itself does not establish ownership or settle competing property rights.

A non-borrowing spouse’s deferral stops household advances

During a non-borrowing spouse’s deferral, monthly household advances stop and unused credit cannot be drawn. HUD’s model adjustable-rate loan agreement, revised October 31, 2023, prohibits ordinary advances during deferral. Narrow exceptions, such as qualifying payments for repairs already specified in a repair rider, do not provide general spending money. Interest and applicable mortgage-insurance or servicing charges can continue increasing the balance.

A tax-and-insurance reserve does not solve the funding problem. HUD’s March 2026 housing-counseling handbook says funds in a Life Expectancy Set-Aside, or LESA, are unavailable during an eligible spouse’s deferral.

The household therefore needs another source for property taxes, homeowners insurance, applicable flood insurance and association charges, as well as upkeep, living expenses and care costs. Continuing occupancy, property-charge payments and maintenance remain essential loan obligations. A deferral can end if the spouse no longer meets its conditions; it does not excuse other defaults.

Hypothetical example: Assume a sole borrower has spent 13 consecutive months in a nursing home and the spouse qualifies for deferral. Before deferral, the HECM supplied $900 monthly, while a LESA paid $6,000 annually in taxes and insurance. Replacing both sources requires $1,400 a month on average: $900 plus $500 for those annual bills. This calculation excludes maintenance and care expenses, and the bills may fall due in lump sums.

Get the servicer’s determination in writing

Contact the servicer early and organize the records it will need to review:

• Loan records: Latest statement, FHA case-number assignment date, note, loan agreement and spouse disclosures.
• Marriage and residence evidence: Marriage records, prior occupancy certifications and documents showing the spouse’s residence since closing. Ask which evidence the servicer accepts.
• Absence timeline: Admission dates, facility information, transfers, discharges and any actual return home.
• Property expenses: Tax and insurance bills, association charges, repair notices and details of any set-aside.
• Communications: Servicer notices, submission receipts and any authorization needed for an adult child to assist.

HUD requires servicers to retain annual certifications and documentation of borrower absences. Its November 30, 2023 servicing changes also require attempts to identify non-borrowing spouses on pre-August 2014 cases through annual occupancy inquiries. Continue completing the certifications the servicer requires.

Request written answers identifying the spouse’s status, the applicable deferral or MOE pathway, missing evidence, when disbursements stop and who will pay upcoming property bills. If the answer is unfavorable, promptly request the specific reason and any response deadline.

For help assessing the budget and servicing options, a HUD-approved reverse-mortgage counselor can provide individualized housing counseling. Consult an attorney for disputed eligibility or ownership rights.